Patrick's Day

My son is all excited to go over our friends tonight for a party. But he's confused St. Patrick's Day with "Patrick's Day." Seems that Dylan thinks we're going over to the neighbors to celebrate Sponge Bob's ambigously gay friend's birthday.

Put it on Your Website

My son has become so savvy about my blog postings that he's been testing out material on me and when I told him today that his material today was a little weak (okay, I admit that's harsh) he yelled out, "Mommy, I hate your jokes!" Holy crap - four years old and we're already headed for family therapy. Now let me tell you, my son is hilarious. He comes up with zingers all the time but at four, he's bound to throw out some one liners that don't make the grade for our kiddy blog. But, I do have a a doozy of a poem he came up with this weekend... We will, we will flush you down the toilet And see if you enjoy it. Funny stuff...now if we can get him off toilet humor, we'll be golden...who am I kidding? Our book title is Peeing in Peace...obviously he gets his material from yours truly.

Quick Kid Riddle

Latest entry from my four-year-old... Why did the cow cross the road? He wanted to get to the moo-vies.

Privacy is Underrated

Without fail, the moment I step into my house after a busy day at the office, my kids think that it's their signal to pounce on "Mommy." I can't even take my coat off with one of them telling me what I did wrong even though I wasn't home. "Mommy - why weren't you at my swim class today, all the other moms were?" Try to finagle your way out of that one - sure I made sure his dad watched him two days earlier in the same swim class (since they gave parents two options to watch their little fish perform), but that didn't count. Mommy wasn't there to clap for your doggy paddle so now I'm officially in your version of the dog house.

Oh, but it gets better. As I walk up the stairs to sneak away to my bathroom, my son's footsteps follow me in the distance. "MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU???" "I'm hiding, where do you think I am?"

After prancing into my bedroom and swinging open the bathroom door, he finds me, sitting on my throne and thoroughly annoyed that I've once again been interrupted by my little prince.

"I SEE MOMMY'S PRIVACY!" Uh. Doesn't anybody knock anymore?

I think it's officially time to put a deadbolt in my bathroom or a plant a huge Do Not Disturb outside the door...then again - the kid can't read yet, so a kiddy proof lock will do just fine.

What's in a Name

It's been about a month since our cat died so today, we decided to take a chance and bring home a new cat to keep our lonely feline, Rudy company. The cat has pretty much been hiding out all day and my kids are busy trying to figure out what to name her.

"What about Raven?" says Rebecca.

"Absolutely not," says Darin "That show drives me nuts."

"Okay. What about Rosie?" she offers.

"Rudy and Rosie sitting in a tree k*i*s*s* and k*i*p*," sings my four-year-old who obviously has a spelling problem.

"How about Gracie? That's a nice name!"

"Boring."

"Okay - I've got it. What do you think of Pussy?"

Containing my laughter, my husband looks at me and counters, "I've got no problems with that one."

The Meeting and Other Quips from a Four Year Old

Dylan is sitting at the dinner table when suddenly sounds start emanating from his stomach.

"Mommy, I think there's a meeting inside my tummy."

"Oh really. What do you think they're having a meeting about?"

"They're picking out what I should order."

Later that day...We're attempting to put together a 37 piece contraption that's missing a few pegs and I'm getting really frustrated and about to abandon the project, when Dylan grabs a piece of paper and exclaims.

"Mommy, why don't you just follow the constructions."

Two Jokes for Kids...

Joke #1: Overheard on Sponge Bob...

What do you call a snail on a boat?

I don't know.

A snailor!

Joke #2: Overheard during a screening of Charlotte's Web...

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Eggs

Eggs Who?

Eggs-zactly